Recently a good friend of ours posted on his Facebook timeline that he and his lovely bride was celebrating the 34th anniversary of the best decision of his life. Au contraire, mon ami.
I humbly submit for the court’s review and judgment, the premise that it wasn’t just his decision. The decision belonged to both him and her. He may have made the decision to “Ask the Question” but at the moment it was asked, she had to make a decision to say “Yes” or “No.” I’ll wager she did not ask for a moment to ponder the ramifications. Nonetheless in that nanosecond, she still decided “Yes” over the “No.”
In a ceremony steeped in centuries of tradition and bound by the moralities of the culture they ascribe to, they made a decision together. Their first real joint decision as witnessed by guests and others who read about it in the local newspaper. Up until that moment and even including that moment, either one of them could have made a decision not to. However, together they decided “Before God and Man” to spend the rest of whatever remaining days they had as a couple.
Each culture has rules associated with betrothal and the marriage ceremony. In some cultures it is the female that asks the question. In some cultures there is no ceremony whatsoever, they just “be.” Even in this modern age in which we live, in some cultures the couple doesn’t get to make the decision. It is decided for them. Countless stories have been and continue to be told about this kind of “arrangement” needless to say.
Some say that it is God who plans for certain people to be together, others say it is destiny or fate (apricot pies like that don’t come around every day), still others say it is just the way things work; pheromones, and the like. I am not going to wax philosophical, metaphysical, or theological here. By the way, the Billie Holiday version of “As Time Goes By” is playing in my head, just in case you were wondering.
V&I are glad D&V decided, together, to say and continue to say “I Do” each and every day. That is the big deal about that decision. It is the everyday decision that impacts the rest of the decisions they, and other couples like them which make up the circle of our friends and family, make.
We celebrated D&V’s anniversary with them even though we are miles apart. We decided D&V would like a dinner of:
A dry rubbed Tri-Tip that was smoked low and slow in the faithful grill/smoker,
Potato planks; lengthwise sliced potatoes baked crispy with olive oil, kosher salt, fresh cracked peppercorns, garlic, and Spanish smoked paprika, fresh slaw of thinly sliced Brussels sprouts, cabbage, and fennel, dressed with a mixture of lime juice, apple cider vinegar, agave syrup, olive oil, salt, and pepper.
We also decided that D&V would love the Barnard-Griffin 2006 Cuvee Rouge to pair with the meal. This wine is a blend of Cabernet Sauvignon (33%), Merlot (33%), Syrah (17%), and Zinfandel (17%). It was beautiful, dark, and full of fruit. For us the Merlot and Zinfandel were more pronounced on the front and mid palate, while the Cabernet Sauvignon and Syrah were more pronounced at the back. It was incredible how the savory aspects of the meal were balanced by the Merlot and Zinfandel notes and the sweeter aspects were given more structure by the Cabernet Sauvignon. The Syrah brought everything together and elevated the spicy rub on the Tri-Tip and the garlic and paprika on the potato planks as well.
We actually had some trepidation on how the wine blend would work with the slaw because of the lime juice and apple cider vinegar, but our fears were unfounded. It was a grand marriage of food and wine which provided balance to all components. Just like D&V’s marriage does.
We toasted the couple and wished them many more years and success together.
Then we toasted ourselves with “The Clink.” How could we not? The theme of the meal seemed to be centered on the topic of anniversaries and weddings so during dinner we talked about upcoming anniversaries and the nuptials we’ve been invited to and are planning to attend.
Vicarious as it was, we hope D&V enjoyed the meal as much as we did.
Putting the finishing touches on this for the week, I realized having someone know everything there is to know about you, and still decide to say “I Do” every day is humbling, to say the least, and should not be taken for granted. Even though I chide V on occasion about being forgetful, I am glad each day she, knowingly or unknowingly, forgets my shortcomings and willfully decides she is going to be the V in B&V. I do the same for her. I think that is the definition of grace, isn’t it? Getting something like that, even though you don’t deserve it?
Some may argue it is something else, that it is something vastly different. We propose that would be using logic instead of the heart. After all, the heart is not just for pumping blood around the body, is it? We don’t claim to have the inside track on the inner workings of the universe. That is just how we see things through the lens of our wine glasses.
B&V (‘Cause without the V, there would be no B)